Merry Christmas Wherever You Are
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Though you're not here with me, I've got your memories. And you'll always be in my heart. Merry Christmas, wherever you are...


My first SVU Christmas story of the season. Inspired by George Strait's Merry Christmas Wherever You Are. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

For Olivia Benson, the Christmas season was the worst time of the year.

When she was younger, it was always the same. Her mother would sober up for a few weeks and promise Olivia presents, big dinners and Santa Claus. But instead of going to bed on Christmas Eve dreaming of Santa and reindeer flying overhead, she would be trying to escape her mother's drunken rages.

When she finally grew up and got her own place, she would sometimes try to put up a little tree and have some decorations. But they always brought back those feelings of dread and helplessness, and eventually she grew to resent the holiday season.

But that all changed the first Christmas she spent with Elliot Stabler. Instead of spending Christmas alone, like she always had, he insisted that she come home with him and have dinner with his family. She had politely declined, but in the end, he had won her over with a charming smile.

It had been the best Christmas she could remember, and for several years, it became a tradition of sorts. But then Elliot's marriage started to crumble, and the invitations stopped.

Olivia looked up from the computer screen and sighed. It was Christmas Eve, and she was still in the squadroom. Munch and Fin had left hours ago, citing dinners with family and friends. The only person left in the squadroom, and probably the whole building, was Olivia.

Finally she turned her computer off and gathered her things, then left the building. There was a nice bottle of wine waiting for her at home, and her bed was calling her name.

Snow fell in thick sheets as Olivia got into her car and drove to her apartment building. She parked the car, then hurried inside. She was in such a rush to get into the warmth of her apartment, she almost missed the small package just outside of the door.

It was innocuous enough, and at first she feared it was something dangerous. Then she noticed an envelope attached to the top, with her name written in familiar scrawl.

Elliot…

With trembling hands, she picked up the package and held it in her hands. Then she carried it inside, closing the door and locking it behind herself. Since that fateful day in the squadroom seven months ago, she hadn't seen or spoken to her former partner. It had been a devastating blow, one she was still struggling to recover from.

Setting the package on the table, she pulled off the envelope and opened it, unfolding the paper inside. It simply said, _I will always love you_, but those five words were enough to nearly send her to her knees.

Gently setting the letter aside, she opened the package. Inside was an assortment of items that made her want to laugh and cry all at the same time. There was a framed picture of the two of them, taken at a company softball game. They were covered in dirt and had never looked so happy. She lovingly placed the picture on the table, then reached for the second item. It was a small stuffed bear dressed in an officer's uniform, and something around its neck caught her attention.

It was a golden necklace, and she carefully lifted it from around the bear's neck. A heart shaped locket dangled from the chain, and tears blurred her vision.

At the bottom of the box, the words Merry Christmas, Liv, were written on a small piece of paper. For whatever reason, he thought he couldn't be with her, so he had done what he thought to be the next best thing.

Tears silently fell down her cheeks as she put the necklace on. The heart fell in the valley between her breasts, and she closed her eyes as Elliot's smile filled her memory.

"Merry Christmas, Elliot. I love you."

Wiping her tears away, she turned off the lights and took the box into her bedroom.

The bottle of wine above her refrigerator remained untouched.

The End.

A/N: Aww, poor Liv. I may continue this. Not sure yet. Thanks for reading, and please review!


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